By Kendra Clarke
It is difficult to accept or even admit when you have been fooled by someone you cared about. I can relate, because I blamed myself for many years because of my choice to trust, love and be loyal to men that did not earn any of it. They may have manipulated their way into my good graces, but they didn’t hold a gun to my head or threaten me if I didn’t stay. I was a willing participant in the game for which I knew none of the rules. On the one hand, I was flattered that they wanted to bypass the courting phase and move right on into a relationship. However, I came to realize that was a huge red flag that I missed. My problem was that, because my intentions were pure, I mistakenly believed that theirs would be too, but I have lived and I have learned.
You Deserve Someone Patient
You deserve someone patient who will take the time to really get to know you. Men who want to go from zero to a hundred within a week of meeting you, should be avoided at all costs. They are in it for the quick hit and miss, a short-term high which can not be sustained moving at the speed they are going. They are not fully invested in you or your story, for to do so would require time and an investment that their timetable can not meet. Don’t be fooled, for they are only interested in the superficial, what their eyes can see, and not your core. Their focus is on the game, playing with your heart and conquering your body, all while contemplating their next conquest.
It Was Never Meant to Be
You must take the time to really get to know who you are, whose you are, who they are and differentiate between a want and an absolute need. No, there is no perfect mate, but the one that God chooses will be a perfect fit for you. Believe yourself worthy of the investment, because you cannot expect someone else to invest in you, if you aren’t willing to invest in yourself. I can tell you that flying blind and rushing into a relationship just to say you are in one, without being led by God, will bring you nothing but frustration and emotional turmoil as you try hard to force something, that was never meant to be. In the end, you will finally come to realize, as I have, that you were wasting your all on someone that never deserved you in the first place.
You Are Worthy
You must know yourself and who you are in the Father, because not knowing yourself sets the stage for someone to swoop in and define who you are. No man is going to place a high price tag on you or treat you like a gem, if he feels that he can get what he wants without having to put up, step up or grow up. Know your standards and wait for God to advise you, for in time, He will reveal to you all that you will need to know. While you wait and observe, watch how the ones in it short-term or to play games with your heart, begin to drop like flies. This is because they are always on the lookout for some cheap knock-off or something quick and easy, for they don’t mind shopping on the discount rack for sheer convenience. Do not undervalue yourself, just to say you got someone on your arm. When you know who you really are, you know what you deserve. When you know what you deserve, you won’t accept anything less from anyone and, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23).
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