Archives for February 2016

Don’t Be Fooled

By Kendra Clarke

We all know that talk is cheap and that it is nothing without action, but sometimes we manage to convenience ourselves otherwise. I’m here to say, please don’t be fooled and to beware of counterfeits or imitators who shine brightly in the beginning when the relationship is fresh and new. You know the ones…These are the men that go all out wining and dining, pursing you with such vigor, that it is often difficult to catch your breath. These pretenders often talk a good game as they shower you with all the attention they can muster, all at once. The dance or chase is a persistent onslaught designed to pull out all the stops. They observe and listen attentively as you share about how the last man treated you, all the while alluding to it some how being different with them, if they were given the opportunity. Everything these men do is done to make your head and heart swoon, so that while you are busy swooning, they’ll be busy pulling the proverbial wool over your eyes. The words were once sweet but trust, talking is all they really intended do.

Hard Not to Feel Fooled

As you got to know the version of them they wanted you to see; letting your guard down just long enough that your heart became exposed, it is then that things began to change and not for the better. For starters,  consideration, time, affection and patience were not an inconvenience for them in the beginning, as it was done with one clear purpose in mind. However, once that purpose had been realized or you began asking questions, as to why they were no longer present or as engaged as they once were, it became a problem. It’s hard not to feel fooled or confused especially once you realize that the script had undoubtedly been flipped. A light switch went off and suddenly you found yourself in darkness unsure of how to proceed. You started to see things that you swear was not there in the beginning, but presumably, those signs and flashing red lights were there all along. You were probably just too blinded by their “representative” to see it. Stop being fooled!

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The Dream Was Over

Those flashing red signals were bright as day and the writing on the wall was as big and bold as could be. But those justifications in your heart and in your mind, which provided the reasons for proceeding down that path, outweighed them all. Truth is, they sold you a persona that they knew would get your attention. They said things that they knew you wanted to hear and they showed you things they knew you wanted to see. They sold you a dream they never meant to make a reality. As time passed, you realized that it was all a smoke screen and that the person you were so enamored by, didn’t really exist. It was a mirage, your eyes knew it, your mind knew it, but your heart refused to let go so easily. You truly believed that if there was something you could do to will the relationship back, everything would be wonderful again. Only this is what they wanted you to believe. They fed you a fantasy, so much so, that even after they revealed who they really were, you still found it difficult to let go of the dream. Your pride wouldn’t allow you to accept that, so you held on for dear life hoping, wishing and praying that things could just go back to how they used to be, but the dream was over. I know because that was once me..


Next: You Are Worthy – 2/9/16

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