Archives for October 2015

Actions Speak Louder

By Kendra Clarke

It always amazes me how at the beginning of a relationship, when it is fresh and new, everyone is on their best behavior. It’s all “baby-this” and “sweetie-that”.  We’re on the phone until the wee hours of the morning, texting constantly during the day just to say, “hey”. Everything is chugging along, nothing but consideration, simple courtesy, joy and excitement. Actions are speaking louder and the words are sweet indeed. It is really something to behold. Then suddenly, the light switch comes on, the page is turned and when the novelty of the relationship has worn off, bye-bye common courtesy. The honeymoon phase is now over, “the representative” takes a bow, has left the room and the real person stands up announcing it’s over. What just happened?

It Wasn’t Love

The newness of a relationship does wane, but that doesn’t have to mean the end of the relationship, unless the relationship wasn’t built on the right foundation in the first place. Some are addicted to the new-car smell and never hang around long enough for it to completely wear off. This we know isn’t love but lust. It is all about the high… the feeling of being in love and not the doing, the labor of love. Love requires action and effort, not just empty words that can be spit out rhythmically, without batting an eyelash. Don’t get caught up on what a person says, because they may simply be telling you what they think you want to hear. Focus instead on their actions and how they treat you. An actor can only stay in character for so long. What they profess with their lips should match up to their actions. Eventually, the real person beneath the façade will show up. 1 John 3:18 tells us, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”

You Will Know if it is Love

Life is hard, but love should be easy. Real love doesn’t just cease to exist because the going gets rough or the honeymoon stage is over. It doesn’t require you to compromise your morals and values to be in the relationship. It allows you to be you and loves you through the tough times, hard times, all times…Love is just stubborn like that. The Bible tells us explicitly what love is and isn’t so that there is no doubt, confusion or misinterpretation. “Love is patient and kind; love doesn’t boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).


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